|SAHM vs. Working Mom, Round Infinity
||[Oct. 19th, 2007|11:39 am]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood
I try very hard to not participate in this debate normally, but I frequent a board where it is vicious. I haven't delved into the issue there, but it has gotten me to thinking, especially given my current work situation. I have now been on both sides, and to be honest, I have no idea which I prefer. Granted, I have been on the SAHM side for the infancy of my children, and for the beginning stages of toddlerhood I was on the Working Mom side. These two periods are different. Of that, I am sure.|
What it boils down to for me, is what will make the woman happiest with the choices she has made at the end of her life? For me, I think I will need to know that I gave my all to my children when they depended on me most, which I define as infancy. That is not to say that I am not and will not be a fully involved parent when my sons are on the little league teams, when they are figuring out which girl to ask to their first dance or if it would be better to go stag, when they are preparing college entrance essays, when they are watching their bride (or groom) walk down the aisle. It is to say, though, that at those points in my life, and theirs, it is likely that I will need to be able to define myself as more than a mother primarily. I will need to be able to answer the question of "What do you do?" with more than "laundry" and a laugh.
For now, I need and want to define myself as a mother foremost against any other definitions. (I will be a wife, a friend, a reader, a writer, a cook, a daughter and exhausted for every second of my life. Those definitions aren't going anywhere, but some definitions can certainly be extricated from my current rolodex of Briannas.)