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Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood

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Gifting? [Nov. 8th, 2007|09:13 am]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood

How do you feel about the commercialization of the holidays and birthdays? To me, gifts are meant to show that you have put some thought into the recipient. Even if it's a gift card, knowing where, how much, wrapping, etc, can mean something.

Buying only gifts that are commercialized really crawls under my skin. If the only toys a kid gets are Thomas, Curious George, Transformers, how does that help him to expand beyond what the television tells him he should be? I'm not saying that I think that no commercialized toys is the way to go, either... but a non-name puzzle, book, clothes, game, toy will always be a part of my sons' gifts.

And if I'm buying more than one gift for a nephew or friend, you can be sure that something without a television or movie behind it will be included.
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(no subject) [Nov. 7th, 2007|08:15 pm]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood
Anyone else uneasy about the sheer number of recalled toys that we are seeing in the media lately? I've always kept an eye on recalls and in the last year, the amount of "bad" toys has exploded. I won't even go into the whole hamburger, dog food, or cold medicine thing. Grrr....

I'm being uber picky about which toys I will let my two kidlets have this year for Christmas. :/
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SAHM vs. Working Mom, Round Infinity [Oct. 19th, 2007|11:39 am]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood

I try very hard to not participate in this debate normally, but I frequent a board where it is vicious. I haven't delved into the issue there, but it has gotten me to thinking, especially given my current work situation. I have now been on both sides, and to be honest, I have no idea which I prefer. Granted, I have been on the SAHM side for the infancy of my children, and for the beginning stages of toddlerhood I was on the Working Mom side. These two periods are different. Of that, I am sure.

What it boils down to for me, is what will make the woman happiest with the choices she has made at the end of her life? For me, I think I will need to know that I gave my all to my children when they depended on me most, which I define as infancy. That is not to say that I am not and will not be a fully involved parent when my sons are on the little league teams, when they are figuring out which girl to ask to their first dance or if it would be better to go stag, when they are preparing college entrance essays, when they are watching their bride (or groom) walk down the aisle. It is to say, though, that at those points in my life, and theirs, it is likely that I will need to be able to define myself as more than a mother primarily. I will need to be able to answer the question of "What do you do?" with more than "laundry" and a laugh.

For now, I need and want to define myself as a mother foremost against any other definitions. (I will be a wife, a friend, a reader, a writer, a cook, a daughter and exhausted for every second of my life. Those definitions aren't going anywhere, but some definitions can certainly be extricated from my current rolodex of Briannas.)
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One chance [Oct. 18th, 2007|09:49 am]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood

I recently read a woman’s post where she used the idea that work opportunities will come and go, but in giving a child what you feel is the right start, you really only get one shot at it. That is not to say that every family should make the same choice, and that for every family, the right start is the same path. It is to say that I believe I have made my decision.

Right now, we can get by without my paycheck, and I can get by without a life outside the home, for a few months at least. (With Hayden, I started to go stir crazy around 6 months. If I get to that point with Gabe, the job listings are always out there, all 12 months a year in my experience.)

If I were to go back to work for the company I was at before Gabe’s delivery, I think I would come home stressed and unhappy too many days out of the week. That is not to say that if I hand in my resignation, and the owner wants to negotiate that I won’t, but it is to say that I cannot accept her complete refusal of my maternity leave proposal. The circumstances around it (not getting a response for 2 months after submitting it, 3 weeks into my maternity leave, her trying to make people believe that she was ”allowing” me to take 12 weeks off - no the Family Medical Leave Act is guaranteeing it, not getting my review on time, the implication that there would be no raise with my review) have made me realize she is not the woman I want to work for. I am very thankful that we are at a place in our lives where I can make that decision.

So, offer me my full request for maternity leave, give me my review that was two months late, a 20% raise with retro pay, and we’ll see. I’m tired of doing work for her at less than fair compensation. Closing 2006 without a promotion and pay raise was done to test me. My six month promotional review coming at least 2 months late was a slap in the face. Telling me that the review would not be a merit (wage increase) review when that was implied to me when I accepted the promotion at less than the going rate was the last straw. It’s her ball now, like she wanted. I don’t think she realized that I don’t depend on her paycheck week to week, like almost all of her other employees do.
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Day home with 2 boys [Oct. 8th, 2007|09:02 am]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood

My in laws are on their way, but I will have two boys at home by myself today for the majority of the day. I know many women have done this regularly, and I'm not toooooo worried. (We generally let Hayden watch a max of an hour of TV a day on the weekends, so if nothing else, I can bribe him with a little more than usual.)

Gabe has been letting me sleep like a champ, and after his 6:30 feeding, he's still sleeping at 9 am. I have showered, dressed and come down stairs to find a packed breakfast for Hayden in a lunch bag in case he were to wake up very early. I have an awesome husband. :)

In other body news, I need to call my doctor about PPD. I keep flip flopping between is this just baby blues hitting me a little late, or do I need more help from a doctor? I cry for absolutely no reason (like when one of our DVD players died, K took it as a sign that it was time for his X Box 360 and I was stressed that I wouldn't know how to run the DVD player on it. I balled.)

One of my breasts has little red bumps on the top of it. The bumps are only on the top half and the other breast has none of them. The bumps are not anywhere else on my body. Any ideas? My mom thought they might be stress related, as that breast is not a smooth one for breast feeding.

Breast feeding.... is getting better, kind of. Hopefully my nipples will be strong enough to deal with my little lion jaws soon.
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First post [Sep. 14th, 2007|05:20 pm]
Mother Journey - Challenges of Motherhood
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

It feel wierd to be the first person to post in a new community, but I'll make that jump!

What are five things that you do (or have started doing) just for yourself since you became a mother?

My List of Me Things:

1. Bubble baths. I even splurge on good bubble bath too!
2. A cup of special (to me at least) tea in the morning before the rest of the world crawls out of bed
3. Star gaze at night after the kids have gone to bed
4. Read a book for 15-30 minutes before going to bed
5. Work out. I've been able to make it to the gym 3 times a week for the last couple of months and it's making a difference. :)
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